World's Largest Condom

Hi Cyber Surfers,

Had a little weeknight foray into a bar last night. Wasn't going to be a late night and I suppose one can't really consider 1am a late night. Really technically it's morning, early morning.

Any way the lure was free beer from 6pm to 8pm. You see, as this was the 5th Monday in the month, which this year only happens 5 times, the beer flows free. Not a bad little promo.

As most of you know I don't drink beer as Scotch/Irish Whiskey is my poison of choice, and the better the quality the better the enjoyment.
Sorry back to the beer, it was free, people!!!! You must understand that......FREE!!!!!!!

Anyway as I was standing at the bar, waiting patiently for a friend, I had an overwhelming need to try and locate an XLarge condom.
Yes the Monkey Man had an urge, and urgently needed a huge condom. None of the attentive bar staff could help me, even though they were obviously aware of my predicament. I tried to seek one high and low while remaining perfectly discreet.

You see it all started off very innocently, with a "Hello" and "How are you?" followed shortly by how long have you been in the Village Grande. Me being the perfect gentleman politely engaged in the conversation if for no other reason that to kill some time and not drink alone (WOW that makes me sound like a real sad unit).

As the conversation continued and the direction it was taking had me more than a little stirred up. I really needed that XLarge franger and fast at this rate.

Why XLarge you ask, well you know the long finger/big feet routine right well have you seen how long my arms are!!!!

NO. Not really......
I just needed the XLarge condom to slip over this f*cking huge dick that was spurting stuff all over the place. He just wouldn't stop!!!!!!! and he was as thick as two short planks.
Seriously, keep asking the same questions over and over, with the annoying statement "honesty to God" thrown in every second sentence. I have seen fence posts quicker on the up take than this dick.

Anyway eventually he got the message and wandered aimlessly off into the distance to one of his 2 hotel rooms, as he needs to keep his location a secret as people are out to kill him. No Sh*t mate I can fully understand that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The night dramatically improved after that.

Cheers
GJ

Stunning Jakarta Traffic Fact

Fact.

Speed bumps.......54 between my home and the office, total distance = 10kms

That's one every 185.185 metres. No wonder record pace is only 33 minutes.

Unbelievable

GJ

Still Here !!!!!!!!! Inappropriate Behaviour and Free Bourbon

"ello All,

I'm still here................just...................Unlike like some others i.e. M.Jackson and Ms Fawcett.

I have always said, "Any day above ground is a good day".

So did you all hear the collective sigh of relief from kiddies everywhere when Mr Michael "I'm Bad (because I love children in a very strange way)" Jackson exited stage left.

I know that his fans will yell "nothing was proved", but a $23 million payout smacks of innocence to me!!!!
Sorry, have negative tolerance for kiddie fiddlers no matter have famous. I don't real get that, you know we over look the short comings, and sometimes these a massive shortcomings, because of other impressive attributes. It's wrong!!!

Just think for a moment, GJ is sub planted into Neverland with its magical kid pulling power, but not as the rich founder but a lowly gardener. Then little Johny accuses me of less than savory acts towards him. I plead that I love children!!!!! I would never hurt children (BTW that's purely from my reference point though!!!!). I offer little Johny's parents $457.83 hush money to make the whole thing disappear.

What happens..........you know full well...........yours truly is charged, convicted and I'm now living a life of abject misery much like the life I had inflicted on little Johny.

One law for the rich and the real law for the poor.

Did I mention that I'm still here in "Village Grande" Indonesia.

I commented to FG to other day after telling her a week ago to start packing, that our life hasn't been that great lately. As usual she consolidated what was wrong, the stress and living on the edge, the uncertainty had been effecting our quality of life.

Well I say to "hell with it", let's get back to normal!!!
So this weekend I visited the duty free stores (note plural) to restock the cellar. I had been running it down on the possibility.................. 2 weeks ago, I supplied the good Muslim boys at work a litre of Bourbon and a bottle of Merlot (there is one highly refined wine drinker) for their after soccer BBQ on Friday nights.
The one upside of running down the inventories, was I was treating myself to some very palatable single malts over the last few weeks.

And if the axe does fall then I know that we will have many happy friends that will do justice to our liquor cabinet contents.

So bring on Friday night and the planned rematch of this great Jakarta event !!!!!!!!!!!

Cheers

GJ