World's Largest Condom

Hi Cyber Surfers,

Had a little weeknight foray into a bar last night. Wasn't going to be a late night and I suppose one can't really consider 1am a late night. Really technically it's morning, early morning.

Any way the lure was free beer from 6pm to 8pm. You see, as this was the 5th Monday in the month, which this year only happens 5 times, the beer flows free. Not a bad little promo.

As most of you know I don't drink beer as Scotch/Irish Whiskey is my poison of choice, and the better the quality the better the enjoyment.
Sorry back to the beer, it was free, people!!!! You must understand that......FREE!!!!!!!

Anyway as I was standing at the bar, waiting patiently for a friend, I had an overwhelming need to try and locate an XLarge condom.
Yes the Monkey Man had an urge, and urgently needed a huge condom. None of the attentive bar staff could help me, even though they were obviously aware of my predicament. I tried to seek one high and low while remaining perfectly discreet.

You see it all started off very innocently, with a "Hello" and "How are you?" followed shortly by how long have you been in the Village Grande. Me being the perfect gentleman politely engaged in the conversation if for no other reason that to kill some time and not drink alone (WOW that makes me sound like a real sad unit).

As the conversation continued and the direction it was taking had me more than a little stirred up. I really needed that XLarge franger and fast at this rate.

Why XLarge you ask, well you know the long finger/big feet routine right well have you seen how long my arms are!!!!

NO. Not really......
I just needed the XLarge condom to slip over this f*cking huge dick that was spurting stuff all over the place. He just wouldn't stop!!!!!!! and he was as thick as two short planks.
Seriously, keep asking the same questions over and over, with the annoying statement "honesty to God" thrown in every second sentence. I have seen fence posts quicker on the up take than this dick.

Anyway eventually he got the message and wandered aimlessly off into the distance to one of his 2 hotel rooms, as he needs to keep his location a secret as people are out to kill him. No Sh*t mate I can fully understand that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The night dramatically improved after that.

Cheers
GJ